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Conley: The legend of the Woolybooger

By Mike Conley | The McDowell News

Published: November 1, 2009

Once upon a time in this great county of Burke, there lived a huge, frightening creature with long, shaggy, brownish-gray fur. It terrified the Drexel community for two weeks and the legend of the "Woolybooger" was born.
It all began on the damp, chilly early morning of Friday, Jan. 14, when Burke County Deputy Joe Colvin sighted the creature along High Peak Road.
An Associated Press wire-service report said the animal was gray in color ... and headless. Colvin later said the report was incorrect. He said that he was unable to see the head, but that did not mean there was no head.
Colvin stated that he was driving around 4 a.m. when he saw a huge animal standing in the middle of the road. It stood in the car's lights and covered its eyes with its paws, then dropped to all fours and ran into the woods at the side of the road. Colvin said he believed it was a bear. If so, it was a big one.
However, before Colvin had a chance to correct the original wire story, the rumors fermented and ripened.
The Lenoir News-Topic reported that calls flooded the Lenoir and Hudson police. The Caldwell Sheriff's Department received more than 100 calls reporting sightings or making inquiries about what quickly became known as "The Woolybooger."
A Lenoir officer then said he heard the Burke County Sheriff's Department captured a man in a bear suit, but Deputy Gerald Poteat stated emphatically there was "nothing to it."
Drexel remained in turmoil. People took photos of the creature's tracks. Something allegedly got hold of Bill Lippard's dog and "mangled it pretty good.
An official at the Drexel police department laughed it off. He said nothing had happened to the police chief's dog and added, "I wish they'd cut this stuff out."
Other "sightings" were reported. Five girls allegedly saw the creature crawling through a culvert. A boy said he saw it in the driveway by Fowler's Garage in Drexel. A woman saw it again on High Peak Road. Tree branches were found sheared off 15 feet up (investigators suspected it was a prank). And some ardent woolybooger hunters found broken boards behind the movie screen at Hi-Peak Drive-In.
Then came a report of another woolybooger sighting. It turned out to be two sacks stitched together and strung on a wire stretched across the road so it could fly in front of vehicles. Clyde Shuffler and Wayne Wilson caught this woolybooger after it flew in front of their vehicle. Four boys also were seen running through the goods.
An enterprising reporter from The News-Herald tracked down a Drexel man who did not want to be identified. "Mr. X" admitted that he knew about the original and, he claimed, the only actual sighting.
He demonstrated how he did his woolybooger impression. He wrapped an old army poncho with a brownish-gray liner turned inside out. He pulled the liner over his head and put on a pair of oversized work gloves. Then he posed for pictures, one of which was printed in the paper.
Doubts remained. For all those who believe in wampus cats, painters and real woolyboogers, the fake Drexel monster was only brief disruption in their fantasy life.
Today, Mr. X leads a more quiet and serene life, but, on certain occasions, I'm sure he thinks about the woolybooger and, smiles at the memory.
I hope no one tries to resurrect the Drexel woolybooger. For one thing, there are too many people with guns and somebody could get hurt or killed.
After the mystery was solved, Burke County briefly became the laughingstock of the state. An editorial in the Greensboro Daily News had a few words about "our" woolybooger and then said, "As for that sighting in Western N.C., if it hadn't happened in a God-fearing county like Burke" — his way of saying, "Only in Burke County" — "we would be tempted to offer the following: 'Resolved, that deputy sheriffs should not drink on the job.'"
Well, we all know now it was only a hoax. There was no woolybooger prowling the hills and hollers of Drexel in the night, waiting to pounce on unsuspecting citizens.
Oh, wait a minute. I hear something outside. I'll be