Friends get each other

By: Kaye Fish | Morganton News Herald
Published: December 02, 2008

Some believe "birds of a feather flock together," while others adhere to the old adage, "opposites attract." I think the former has the most merit. We choose our friends because we have a lot in common with one another. We think alike, talk alike and sometimes even find humor in the same things. I was thankful for this the night my husband and I had an evening out with a fellow English teacher, Chandi, and her husband, Patrick.
After dinner, I regaled the group with my favorite anecdote, "The fateful tale of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern."
When I got to the "punch line" I could scarcely speak the words. Chandi and I doubled over, tears spilling from our eyes as we gasped for breath. Our husbands looked at us like we were circus freaks.
"That's not funny."
"I don't get it. That's stupid."
"Why were you laughing about dead goldfish?"
(Hysterical laughter again).
When we finally composed ourselves, I had to explain why the story of my goldfish, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, was so funny. I discovered that when you have to explain to someone why something is amusing, it loses most of its potency.
"Rosencrantz and Guildenstern were minor characters in Hamlet."
"Yeah, I knew that." (No you didn't.)
"They were Hamlet's childhood friends, and Hamlet's Uncle, who also is his stepfather, gets them to spy on Hamlet and rat him out and stuff."
"Still not funny."
"I'm not finished. So the king tries to have Hamlet killed by sending him to England with R&G who have a note that says to kill Hamlet, but Hamlet changes the note to read that they should kill Rosencrantz and Guildenstern instead."
"His friends?"
"Yes, but they betrayed him, so who cares?"
"Some friend."
"Four hundred years or so later, along comes this guy, Tom Stoppard."
"Hamlet dies, right?"
"Yes, but we're not talking about Hamlet anymore. Tom Stoppard was a playwright. He took these two minor characters in Hamlet and wrote this play about them called, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead."
They stared at me with deadpan expressions for an uncomfortable amount of time.
"So when the kids were little, I went to Wal-Mart and bought two goldfish for them. I named them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Mainly because I couldn't tell them apart so it didn't matter which one was which... They don't remember which is which in the play..."
Chandi and I began to snicker again.
"I took them home, put them in the fish tank and they almost immediately ... died." (laughter again).
"So I put them back in a little plastic bag, took them back to Wal-Mart, and held them up to the lady at the front desk and said, (uproarious female laughter again) Rosencrantz ... and Guildenstern ... are dead."
"That's not funny."
"Yes it is. I laughed so hard, she must have thought I was crazy."
"You are crazy."
"You want to hear a funny story? I'll tell you a funny story. My buddy Jeff, the accountant, went to see the movie Indecent Proposal and said he did an NPV calculation."
I looked at Chandi and said, "Let's go to the ladies room, OK?" We left them laughing at the table. They weren't funny.