They all speak the same language there

Before I retired, I was the activity director and secretary in a Personal Care (assisted living) facility.
One of my responsibilities was to greet people who came in for information about our place and how it would work for their parent or loved one. They were generally stressed out and pulled between taking care of their own families and their parents. It's called "the sandwich generation."
As I spoke with the guilt-ridden "kids," I assured them that they had nothing to feel guilty about. I could almost guarantee that their loved one would not only be happy here, but they would come to the place where they wouldn't want to leave.
As I gave them the tour, I'd speak to residents we'd run into along the way, and I'd ask them how they liked the place. I remember a prospective resident I was touring, said to Lawrence, "Didn't you hate giving up your house and all your stuff?"
He said, "Heck no. I was lonely for 11 years in that old house. I moved here, and I've never been lonely since." He gave her a big smile and moseyed on.
Grace told me that all she and her mother Pam did was fight. She was ready to take the "gas pipe" if she didn't get away from her. I gave her mother the tour. She said, "Well, I'll move in. I don't want to, but I know she wants me to."
The mother moved in and adjusted to her new home.
I couldn't believe the difference in her daughter. She came over every day to see her mom and took her out to shop, get an ice cream or just ride in the car. She'd bring her back, and they'd be laughing and so happy.
I sat in my office watching with tears in my eyes and a big grin on my face. My heart was just dancing. I loved that job.
During our "Joyful Living" activity, I read them a letter from Ann Landers' column. A lady wrote about her mother being adamant about not wanting to live in a retirement home, but instead planned to live with her daughter when and if the time presented itself.
I asked the residents what they'd say if we answered that letter?
Here are some of their replies:
Penny: "I came here to live independently from, but near my children, so that I could love them, and they can still love me. Think about what's best for them and you. God bless you."
Virginia: "I think moving into a retirement home is the smartest thing anyone can do."
June: "I love it here. I think anyone who came here would be very happy here. Everybody works together and looks out for each other."
Connie: "I'm very glad I found this place before I went to Heaven. Everything here is just what you would want it to be, and it gives us joy to be here."
Leigh: "When I knew I had to come here, I dreaded it, but now I love it. It would break my heart if I ever had to leave."
Ida: "I like it very much. I love the company we have here and all the fun things we get to do. My favorite is when you read to us. But I also enjoy the games, exercises and Wal-Mart. And every year, we look forward to our Mardi Grass parade. I love dressing up."
Dama (a resident from independent living): "I look forward to the day when I move over here to personal care where all the work is done for you. You don't have to cook, but have three wonderful hot meals everyday, and all you have to do is enjoy yourself. There's no housework, and you don't even have to remember if you took your medicine. I would be very particular about the place I chose. I'd look it over very closely and get to know the people running it. But I know one thing. I wouldn't want to live with my children. I adore them and I think they adore me, but I wouldn't want to live with them, and I don't think they would want me to."
Leeann: "Living in a place like this is the solution to many problems. I'm very happy here, and I think that any place you live will be as happy a place as the person wants it to be."
Lottie: "I just think this has got to be the greatest place in the world for anybody to live, except of coarse, other than Heaven. I've been happy ever since I got here. I wouldn't leave the home for all the money in the world."
November is Alzheimer's Awareness month, and many of our residents were stricken with this dreaded disease, but they gravitated to each other and developed friendships that would tender a heart of stone.
In my book "The Home In My Heart," you'll learn how life can be changed by releasing some of the stress in yours and your families lives, by placing your loved one, in a community where there is no generation gap or social pressure. They all speak the same language. It's the language of love.

Carol Jolly is a member of the Morganton Writers Group and has authored two books, "The Home In My Heart" and "That's What They Said," quotes from K — 4 students in a Christian School, and edited and released Squabble Hollow, a memoir of her great-grandmother beginning in 1863. All available through www.themacsmusic.com.