Private Investigator school 101

Well, it's official. I am now a paid private investigator—Agent 000. Now, I'm the one who named myself Agent 000. When you think of all that Agent 007 does, how could I, in good conscience give myself a bona fide number along with my oughts? Scary as it may seem, at the age of 71, I have a new career to add to my resume.
My daughter, BJ, has her own agency in Mississippi — Advanced Research & Investigations. My husband, Jack, and I just returned from Mississippi. We get about two months of on-the-job-training and have every year for the past three years. Our PI has a small car, so Jack and I take turns going with her each day. Most days I go. When I'm too exhausted and need a day off, I elect Jack to go, that's why he is Agent Ought Nah — he generally opted to be off duty — well, not really. Whichever agent is off, is in charge of caring for our two granddogs.
Jack and BJ had a surveillance job. Jack's good at tailing people, so when BJ needed a driver, she'd have her dad go with her, while she filmed.
A woman hired BJ to follow her ex husband on his first visitation with their little girl. He was getting to take her out by himself. He took her to Chucky Cheese. We had to wait outside to make sure that when he left there, he didn't head for the state line.
BJ was on another job, but we kept in contact with her, as she kept in contact with the client.
BJ and Jack did surveillance at a man's business. BJ called me and said, "Mom, I just got a call from one of my clients, and they need some subpoenas picked up and served. I told them that I'd have my "runner" pick them up, OK?"
"OK. So what do I say when they see your runner is an old lady. They can't tell from looking at me that I'm only 27 in my heart."
"It's fine. You just walk in and say 'I'm picking up for BJ.' They'll hand you the file, then you leave. That's it. OK?"
"OK! Agent 000 at your service."
Two days later, my sister and her husband came from Texas to spend a few days with us. We had just had breakfast at IHOP and were headed for Wal-Mart Super Store, when my phone rang. It was BJ.
"Hey, where are you guys?"
"We're on our way to Wal-Mart."
"How would you like to head back this way, and I'll give you directions to do a 'run by' for me?"
"Turn around and head back to the house, Jack. BJ wants us to do a 'run by.' She'll give us directions when we get to the intersection at her house."
"Does this mean we're going on a 'caper'?" My sister was beside herself with excitement.
"Yes. She wants us to go to the place she and Jack did surveillance. We're going to write down the tag numbers of the cars in the parking lot. Then she'll check them out to see if the guy she's looking for is in there."
"Boy, this is so exciting! Carl, we're doing PI work." My sister was beaming with joy.
There were 12 cars in the parking lot. That's quite a bit for a Saturday.
Our car was from North Carolina, if noticed, we'd claim ignorance.
Toward the end of our stay, we got a call to go to a towing company and get pictures of a car that had been involved in a wreck.
BJ said, "I'll go over and get some video of the car."
"I need some digital pictures also," the attorney said.
"A piece broke off my camera, and I haven't been able to find anyone who can fix it. I just bought a new digital, but I don't know how to use it yet."
I held up my digital, which she'd seen me use many times.
"I'll get the digital pictures to you by the end of the day," BJ told him while grinning at me and giving me a thumbs up.
I knew I was a hero.
She hung up and we headed out the door.
I got about 20 shots of the car, and she e-mailed them AND made a CD of them. The attorney was very happy.
BJ looked at me and said, "You are no longer Agent 000. You are now Agent Ought NOT. And you'll also be getting a check in the mail.
Two weeks later … the check WAS in the mail. And now I'm a PI working for my daughter.
How could retirement get any better than that?

Carol Jolly is a member of the Morganton Writers Group, a contributor of The Burke County Notebook, NC Storytellers Guild, one-third of Triple — J — Tellers, along with Jesus & Jeannie McPhail of www.themacsmusic.com , and the author of The Home In My Heart, That's What They Said, and her grandmother's memoir Squabble Hollow, published by J-Mac Publishers of Morganton.